With characteristic British cack-handedness the much vaunted Terminal 5 at Heathrow has opened with a damp fizzle. Apparently a "high tech" (brit speak for things we don't really understand held together with sticky tape and bits of string) baggage handling system has gone pear shaped. BAA are sheepish about the whole fiasco: "I wouldn't call it a complete disaster..." Pedro Cojones, the official sacrificial lamb for BAA protested, (The "British" Airports Authority is now owned by "Johnny Foreigner" as indeed is most of the "British" infratructure).... "Mrs Beryl Scruggins sold out of her home made scones in the Douglas Bader "Last Leg" lounge and apart from a party of Iranian tourists taking a short excursion across the runway we have managed to maintain a light hearted "party" atmosphere" he wittered on.
Heathrow has always been a stopping off point for weary travellers. According to local legend a group of passing knights found themselves stranded en route to the Crusades on the edge of the moorland outside of London. Wary of the light fingered habits of their porters and servants they arranged their armour in a defensive line and spent a fitful night in what eventually became "Heathrow"
Later a small settlement sprang up catering for pilgrims gathering ouside London for the then long and arduous journey to Canterbury. Chaucer mentions the "roges and villens" that robbed him of his belongings whilst staying in "Heeth Rowwe"
In an early portfolio of Richard III Shakespeare obliquely blames Heathrow for Richard's defeat:
"a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse
twere not for grazing on that forsaken gorse
my kingdom lost through spite and force.
What hope for England now?
my past behind, a throne beneath
all lost on that dammed heath
and this accursed row"
It was only natural therefore that Heathrow should be selected as the main airport for London, Britain and the rest of Europe!
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