With a brimming treasure chest from her recent encounter with crinkly scouse rock legend Sir Paul McCartney, allegedly 'fit blonde' Heather Mills dropped anchor in the sleepy Sussex port of Rye last week and sizzled the powder of local male drinkers by "cutting out" a local barman and Captain Jack Sparrow look-alike in a local tavern. She "was almost legless" one local quipped pithily into his pint, waking the parrot on his shoulder with an envious shrug.
Already home to Captain Pugwash creator John Ryan, Rye with its history of seafaring and smuggling looks "on station" to take advantage of the Piratemania now washing its quaint cobbled streets. The picture postcard town has been in the doldrums since waking up one morning to find the sea had upped anchor and moved two miles away to the distinctly unpicturesque Rye Harbour.
Enterprising local furniture entrepreneur 'Walking the plank' Andy has already embarked on a range of pine wooden legs suitable for would be buccaneers and their Molls - "it's a shot in the arm for the local economy" remarked Andy with a swash buckling swagger.
A short cable length from Andy's cabin is the newly renamed "Sailmakers Arms" where Rye's "lower gun deck" are already running up the town's new colours. To a heavy swell of rattling half-empty beer tankards and rum soaked ribald comments two buxom local wenches grapple with each other on the sand covered deck. To cries of "Avast behind!" 'Stow-away' Rose out-guns 'Canonade' Karen and sets course for the other bar where the clink of ill-gotten doubloons is soon heard.
As Rye's timbers shiver with anticipation and its tea rooms, antique shops and pubs open their gun ports and run out their canons for the coming tourist season, rumours have already started to circulate that a fouth Pirates of the Caribbean Film: "The Mermaid's Curse" has already been set in Rye. If so there should be no shortage of extras available...
Already home to Captain Pugwash creator John Ryan, Rye with its history of seafaring and smuggling looks "on station" to take advantage of the Piratemania now washing its quaint cobbled streets. The picture postcard town has been in the doldrums since waking up one morning to find the sea had upped anchor and moved two miles away to the distinctly unpicturesque Rye Harbour.
Enterprising local furniture entrepreneur 'Walking the plank' Andy has already embarked on a range of pine wooden legs suitable for would be buccaneers and their Molls - "it's a shot in the arm for the local economy" remarked Andy with a swash buckling swagger.
A short cable length from Andy's cabin is the newly renamed "Sailmakers Arms" where Rye's "lower gun deck" are already running up the town's new colours. To a heavy swell of rattling half-empty beer tankards and rum soaked ribald comments two buxom local wenches grapple with each other on the sand covered deck. To cries of "Avast behind!" 'Stow-away' Rose out-guns 'Canonade' Karen and sets course for the other bar where the clink of ill-gotten doubloons is soon heard.
As Rye's timbers shiver with anticipation and its tea rooms, antique shops and pubs open their gun ports and run out their canons for the coming tourist season, rumours have already started to circulate that a fouth Pirates of the Caribbean Film: "The Mermaid's Curse" has already been set in Rye. If so there should be no shortage of extras available...
No comments:
Post a Comment