For England, for home, and for the prize! ....

Every once in a while we small children of the internet try to further our pitiful cause by joining some site enhancing directory or listing, and those of us unfortunate to live the dark side of "the pond" have to face a rather unpalateable truth when filling in our details....... Country.

Those we know as "Americans" only have to click the default choice, we "Brits", or to haul up the colours (sorry about the "U") have to scroll down an interminal list of fledgling countries trying to guess what we are going to be today.

I consider myself English; I speak English, I live in England and England is my country. But as I pause momentarily on the "E"s.... I realise that will not do.

Neither will the "G"s.
Great Britain? Nul points for that one! Ok so we haven't been great since the industrial revolution - and most of the things we invented are now done a thousand times better by other nations - but don't some people call us that?

No.
Apparently we are the United Kingdom!
mmm?

No matter that the Scots hate us and if they didn't already rule England, have their own parliament and beat us at every sport we can scrape a team for, would no doubt be setting fire to things, demanding independence and generally behaving beastly.

Ditto the Irish
and the Welsh (both of them)
and the Cornish
Most of the island north of Watford
Brixton
The Channel Islands,

And not forgetting Mr Smith of Tunbridge Wells who protested against being dragged through the "Imperialist English courts" for non-payment of council tax by declaring unilateral independence. (Despite a late night sitting of the House of Commons his efforts were ultimately quashed by a combined services assault force, and after a brief, and relatively blood free "liberation" his insurrection was "neutralised")

Alright, admitedlly it has taken me until today to write this. I forgot all about St George's day (still recovering from St Patrick's day..) But isn't it about time we... ENGLISH! - re-established our superiorty over these upstarts, former colonies and fifth columnists, not forgetting Mr Smith of Tunbridge, and painted the world Red again!

Torch the Burns units!
Welsh on our bets!
Let the Irish Stew!
Smash the Cornish Pastie!
and charge that nasty Mr Smith his council tax!

..... or have I got a chip on my shoulder?